The Scene (#12): The Spoiled Brat Plays Triton College

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The Spoiled Brat never practiced again after getting booted from our public storage practice space, but we showed up to the “Battle of the Bands” ready to play what few songs we knew and bullshit our way through the rest.

You’ve heard people say something is an absolute clusterfuck, right? Did you know that saying could have been born at this “Battle of the Bands” because that’s what this quickly turned into?

Joe, the program director of the college’s radio station, told us to be there at 1PM. But when we arrived, we were told that since we’re the band bringing the most fans to the show (thanks to the drummer and guitarist telling everyone at their high school) we’d now be headlining and not playing until 8PM…..Wait, what??? There were also some rules that we had to follow; only play original songs (we knew about this one) and no swearing since the show was broadcasting live on the air.

“How’s everyone doing?” Dave asked as we were getting our gear set up on stage under dimmed lights at 8:45PM.

Guth had already removed his t-shirt and was being your typical annoying drummer, striking his snare drum repeatedly like Animal from The Muppets. Shane, the guitarist, had broken a string and was trying to figure out how to play with one less string. I was busy tossing full cans of Mountain Dew to our friends in the crowd much to the chagrin of the policemen who were now lining the back wall of the auditorium!

The bright stage lights came on, the radio sign lit up “On Air,” and we got the signal from Joe that we were good to go.

“How’s everyone doing?” Dave asked again - This time met with a round of applause and hoots and hollers from the crowd who had come out to see us and gathered in front of the stage.

“Well we’re the fuckin’ Spoiled Brat and this first song we’re gonna play is a fuckin’ cover of the fuckin’ Ramones! 1-2-3-4!”

And just like that we were off and running with “Blitzkrieg Bop!” Our fans were jumping around and moshing in front of the stage while the cops were trying to break them up. The kid in the sound booth from the radio station couldn’t figure out how to go off air. We continued into our set with our original song “Jessica’s Tits” while the cops continued to hassle our friends, who at this point weren’t only jumping around, but were also spraying Mountain Dew everywhere. The cop’s interference with our crowd provided the perfect segway to our cover of Operation Ivy’s “Unity.”

But then just like that, it was lights out; literally – we got unplugged and they turned the bright stage lights off and like a scene from That Thing You Do – “You unplug, and you run, run offstage!”

We grabbed our equipment, avoided the cops (who we were told wanted to speak with us), got the hell out of there, and met up with all our friends at the local Denny’s restaurant to celebrate our first (and only) show!


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